Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Sometimes We Need Saving from Ourself

Sometimes we need saving from ourselves.

Its extremely hard to admit it, but sometimes we are the villain of our own story.
Its easier to blame everyone else though,  to point the finger outwards.
Its a natural reaction when we refuse to look within. When we choose to remain in denial because we don't want to go there. 

We don't want to believe we can be mentally and emotionally harmful to ourselves.
We don't want to admit we our, our own antagonist at times.
Sometimes we need saving from ourselves. The world around us reacts to what we put out. We get angry when we see the reaction to fail to look at the cause.

Sometimes we need saving from ourselves,  most times we don't realize it. Looking within for the issue is the last thing on our list because in our minds it must be someone else to cause our mess.
Sometimes I need saving from myself its ok to admit.
-
Alexis Pettway

Monday, August 27, 2018

Appeasing Yourself




When people say “you’ve missed out on a good thing”, they are usually referring to a superficial layer of qualities. It will also come out as “I got my shit together.” It’s a false idea of someone having a few things going their way, mostly of the physical. This may come about as someone that has their own car, apartment/house and pays their own bills. In essence, it seems like they have everything going for themselves. This only speaks on surface of their livelihood.  What about on a deeper, internal level? Often, surface level characteristics mask the guarded insecurities that are the root of negative thoughts. After all, the mind is the control mechanism that allows thoughts of satisfaction and accomplishment to manifest. Are you truly satisfied? Until the mind is satisfied those surface level qualities mean nothing.
            Someone that fully has their “shit together” is someone that is considered “whole”, a combination of both physical and mental qualities that satisfy themselves mentally to the point where they are at peace with themselves. This comes with you accepting the good and the bad as part of life. You have to have a great balance of your life’s outcomes, not taking blame or blaming others for things that are out of your control, but taking responsibility for faults of your own and affording meaningful contributions to society.
            The formula to being “whole” is simple, but complex due to dense layers of understanding. Then, transforming your understanding of self  into actions includes continuous efforts towards self-satisfaction on both the physical and mental levels. A conscious effort to understand yourself and reshape your thoughts for the positive equals a “whole” individual. To realize or satisfy your own talents and potential along with grounding your thinking to motivate yourself for the greater good can be seen as self-actualization. Self-actualization can lead you to not let anyone’s outside influence dictate what satisfies your true needs and desires. Knowing your purpose and true potential will detour you from floating down stream like drift wood, “going with the flow”. Thoughts control behaviors; negative thoughts lead to negative behaviors. If you are in tune with your true purpose of self you will be able to deflect negative thoughts that detour you off the path of true satisfaction and achievement.
            A continuous, fine tuning process is required in the journey of finding yourself and becoming whole. A period of being selfish, finding out your true desires and needs is always needed. Equip yourself with the cure of mental freedom by honing in on what is really important and purposeful before masking it with physical qualities that give off empty depictions of “success”.
-    K.A. Payne

U.S Navy Corpsman OEF veteran
Psychology Technician



Sunday, July 29, 2018

Indie Author Legacy Awards!

A few years ago, I said to myself I wanted to go to events catered to authors like author conferences and workshops,etc.
Around that time I also started following a woman named Tieshena Davis. She is the owner of Purposely Publishing.

About two years ago I saw that she hosts this annual awards for Authors. I kept seeing pictures from the events and decided I wanted to make one the events.

This year I made it happen and signed up for vending at this year's event in the Baltimore Harbor. I was super excited and couldn't wait to see and meet authors.

Let me tell yall, I don't get out that often but when I got to the event and I knew a few other authors that were there, it definitely warmed my heart to be in Baltimore and to run into fellow authors I've met a various past events. It was amazing! I didn't think i was going to know anyone there besides m friend Damont, who went on to win poet of the year!

Also, I didn't realize that the guest host was none other than Kim Coles, from living single.
Let me say she looks exactly the same and she is super sweet! I really enjoyed meeting her.

The vendor spot I purchased was in a different room from the actual event but I watched most of the awards ceremony. It was amazing to see so many authors gathered and to listen to their award speeches.

it was also awesome to finally meet Tieshena Davis after following her on Facebook for so long.
 She is super passionate about publishing and helping other authors reach their potential.

I will definitely be attending this event next year!I also need to visit Baltimore again to explore more of the harbor!


Friday, July 20, 2018

The Walking Dead



Let me just start off by saying that this post is NOT about the tv show, the "Walking Dead"

This post stemmed from a conversation a friend and I were having a couple of weeks ago.  We were talking about how we see so many people, whether it be family or people we grew up with, who are alive but not living. I blurted out the term, the walking dead.

In the tv show, the walking dead are zombies. They are reanimated corpses due to some virus or bite. The have some physical mobility and crave 

As an entrepreneur, I struggle, I have wins and losses within myself and my business, but at the end of the day, I know I'm working for something I'm passionate about, something that makes me happy, something that will better my future. Something that gives me more out of life.
So when I see people just going through the motions, not pushing or striving for anything it pains me.
It pains me to see people who haven't found their passion or who don't have the ambition, confidence or motivation to pursue their goals, and or dreams; whether it be a certain career, business ownership or health goals.

This happens for a million different reasons, too many to go into details about. I'll just stick to my point.

I used to work at Sikorsky, a company that builds the black hawk helicopters for the U.S. military.
Some of the top executives I would encounter would seem so miserable, bitter and just mean.
I'd always ask myself how could these people seem to be so miserable when their making a lot of money?
Is it the pressure? The stress? Or is it that their current career wasn't what their passion was but it is where the money is.

I heard a successful real estate mogul, Roberta Hoskie, once say " Where your passion is, your prosperity will follow."

I believe that to be true.  I've read countless stories about lawyers, accountants, people making a lot of money, leave these stable and prosperous positions in companies to pursue their passion.

Side note, I feel that when you know your passion and or purpose it eats at you when you're not pursuing it. Your soul isn't at rest when you're not pursuing your passion. I believe it to be an internal check and balance for whatever and whoever we'e meant to be on this earth.

I've even met a woman who was a top executive for Bank of America. She left that position making well over 100k a year. She is now a successful real estate agent and the President of the Rhode Island Black Business Association. She advocated for workers, and entrepreneurs throughout the state of Rhode Island.

Then there are those who we see in every day life, passionless or so it seems. They lack drive, and ambition. They have no desire to explore what they could accomplish or explore their full potential.
Some of these people want to do this and that but never take the first step to do so.

If you're reading this and you know someone who fits into the "walking dead" description, send some encouragement their way.

If you feel you're stuck in life, barely moving and feel you are the walking dead, I want to breathe some life into you by saying make today different, take action, take steps to create the life you want and deserve.
We only have one life, make the best of it. Fill it with happiness, productivity, love and elevation.
Don't continue to let life pass you by, take control.
Don't waste another minute being, the walking dead.

Alexis Pettway
Alexispettway.com

Sunday, May 6, 2018

Are your Heart, Mind and Soul your ID,Ego and Super-Ego?

I don't know if I mentioned it but I LOVE psychology. I love the aspects of the mind, how they work and how they appear differently in everyone's lives.
I've longed thought about the topic of the heart, mind and soul having connection with the psychology terms, ID, Ego and Super-Ego. 

*Disclaimer: I'm not a psychologist, nor do I have a degree in psychology. I have a concentration in psychology which puts a measly 3 psych classes under my belt. The thoughts of this blog are purely my opinion and interpretation of this subject*

Before we get into it, Sigmund Freud, a man greatly studied in psychology, is best known for creation of psychoanalysis.
His theories from over a hundred years ago, are still explored and studied today.
Sigmund had the idea that one's personality is split into three parts, consisting of the ego, super ego and id. (McLeodS.A(2016)Id ego and superego)

The Id, represents our natural impulses and uncontrolled wants. The Id wants immediate gratification with no regard to reason or ration. It is within our subconscious and holds our deepest and darkest desires. The Id wants only its desires satisfied, no matter the risk.

The ego develops to achieve the id's desires in a safe and thought out manner. It is in touch with reality and strategies to achieve the id's desires in a realistic way to avoid harm to the id or ego. It does not hold any morality when it comes to achieving the id's desires. 

The superego is the  moral compass for the ego and Id.The superego is most in touch with reality and society.
The superego encompasses not only seeks realistic ways to achieve pleasure/satisfaction but encompasses our morals and values that have been instilled by family and society.
To learn more about the ego, super ego and id, check out these articles 



Now that we have an idea of the three parts of personalty, what's this crazy idea that I think they correlate or are in some form a mirror of the heart mind and soul?

You ever heard the phrase, "The heart wants, what the heart wants? It's become a thing people say to justify wanting someone.
The phrase is a quote from one of Emily Dickerson's letters to a friend, but one part of that quote is left out, The entire quote reads, " The heart wants, what the heart wants-or else it does not care." 
She also has a poem that begins with,"The heart asks pleasure first"

Sound familiar?

As I read these quotes and hear continuously hear, the heart wants what the heart wants I reflect on my own experiences with my heart and how after being hurt by something or someone, I would still crave them because at some point that same person gave my heart pleasure. It satisfied its desires. I never understood why. I soon put together this idea that the heart may be a mirror or some form of my id.  How many people do you see clinging to something or someone for that pleasure,all the while harming themselves or other people? Yes I know every situation is different and many other factors occur but, like I said its a theory, my theory that is.

Next, I believe the mind is a mirror of the ego.
Our minds finds ways and make plans to improve our lives such as building a career, passing tests in school, living a healthy lifestyle, or just living our life the way we want, so that we can feel pleasure and be happy. Being happy, having out desires fulfilled, pleases the us, or the id. 
The mind is realistic in finding ways to achieve this, just as the ego is.
Just to be clear, I am speaking of a normal, functioning mind here. I know all minds aren't the same.
Just as the ego, the mind is also weak and can give into our instinctual and irrational desires, which most often leads to consequences.

The last piece of the puzzle is the soul. I believe this mirrors the super ego, holding our morals, values and spiritual beliefs. I believe our souls morally guide us. You ever hear someone say, something doesn't sit right with them? Or they can feel it in their soul?
I believe our soul is our moral compass. Guiding us to do the right things when it comes to society and to ourselves. That true gratification for doing something morally right is a different kind of satisfaction, from that of pleasing our own desires without regard to anyone else.


This is truly an introduction to a very interesting discussion and is a very basic display of how and why I thought of this theory.
I would love to know your thoughts, and or personal experiences regarding this subject!!

Below is how my id, ego an super ego interact 😃😃😂😂