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Budgeting for a Wedding

Its a general consensus that weddings can be expensive! Although they do not have to be. Everyone's definition of expensive or low cost is different but for you and your finance, the definition has to be the same, at least for the wedding.
To control and keep things organized, you both NEED to sit and create a budget.

Budgeting is very important for your wedding. You want to be very sure that you have enough money to make this a special occasion and not run up huge bills that will be hard for you and your finance to manage.

There should be a total budget that breaks down into the various categories.  List your expenses to estimate better. Your biggest expenses will directly be linked to the number of guests that will be attending such as the venue, catering, and wedding cake provider. Thus creating a total max amount of guests you wish to attend and deciding on the max per person cost you and our finance can afford is crucial.

Next you'll want to list all of your other expenses and when I say all, I mean ALL. Down to the smallest item you need to purchase, should be included on your list. This will be your guide to staying on track with the total budget.

Now, your budget should be realistic. You may want to pay $200 for flower arrangements but that might not, well that is not realistic unless someone you know is giving you a huge discount. Do some research in regards to how much bakers, dj's , caterers, venue's etc are in your area. Decide on an budget for each service and shop around when deciding on who you're actually going to go with. Facebook bridal groups and bridal expos are a great resource for finding wedding vendors.

At some point during the planning, you may find yourself switching the budget around. Some couples will value putting more money into one service than the other or find a less expensive service for a certain aspect of the wedding which allows them to either spend the extra money in another area or count it as a savings.

With all the moving parts and the many costs, having a budget an sticking to it will save you stress down the road, and you definitely want that because wedding planning can be a looooong road.

I find using excel is a great tool for creating a budget and is easy to make changes to, and can recalculate columns and rows easily. Having a ready-made wedding binder can also help because they typically have the expense categories already laid out for you which lessens the change of forgetting to add something to the list.

Happy Wedding Panning!

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Wedding Season Chronicles Bridal Expo and Book Launch - Register Today!

5 Tips for Newly Engaged Brides

Congratulations!

You are about to embark on one of the biggest journey's in your life. But first, we need to get you on the right path to planning your wedding day.

What do I know about weddings and who am I to give tips on planning a wedding?

I have worked and am currently in the wedding industry for over 12 years as a caterer and chef. More recently, I have expanded my wedding experience through my travel business, by booking travel arrangements and activities for destination weddings.

I've learned so much over the past 12 years and wanted to give you a fews tips on planning your wedding.

Set your expectations 

This is in regards to your bridal party. Your bridesmaids and maid/matron of honor play an intergral role in your wedding, so you want to ensure you communicate and set your expectations of them from the beginning.

Organize

This part is KEY! A wedding has many moving parts and you want to be sure you are keeping track of each one of them. You also want to ensure that you are not forgetting anything and keeping yourself on track. You can purchase a physical wedding planner or create a digital organizer using excel, and google drive.

Create your budget 

This may be the most important thing you do in the beginning stages. Weddings can be costly and you want to control how much and where you are spending your money. Some brides spend more on decor, some spend more on dessert. It is vital you and your fiance configure this in the beginning.

Research

I wanted to add this tip in here. There will times when you come across a service or products that do not fit into your budget. When this happens, do your research. This is not to say that you should look for the cheapest price you can find. This is the familiarize yourself with the average cost of the service, product you're looking for and adjust accordingly

Prepare 

Not many people talk about the emotional and mental aspects that are involved with planning a wedding. You and your finance will be planning a very special day on top of keeping up with your normal day to day lives. This can be stressful and cause tension, miscommunication, aggravation, etc. It is important that you prepare yourself for the journey ahead.

One way to prepare is, to get a copy of the upcoming book, Wedding Season Chronicles, available for pre-order.

I am so excited to share my knowlegde and over 12 years of experience working in the wedding industry.

This ettiquete guide provides an in depth look into things you need to know and consider for wedding planning, including my experiences, advice and even MORE tips to planning a wedding. Past brides round off the book by providing advice from their experiences.

Learn more!

Keep the conversation going! Our  Wedding Season Chronicles Facebook Group is talking all things wedding etiquette

Sometimes We Need Saving from Ourself

Sometimes we need saving from ourselves.

Its extremely hard to admit it, but sometimes we are the villain of our own story.
Its easier to blame everyone else though,  to point the finger outwards.
Its a natural reaction when we refuse to look within. When we choose to remain in denial because we don't want to go there. 

We don't want to believe we can be mentally and emotionally harmful to ourselves.

We don't want to admit we our, our own antagonist at times.

Sometimes we need saving from ourselves. The world around us reacts to what we put out. We get angry when we see the reaction to fail to look at the cause.

Sometimes we need saving from ourselves,  most times we don't realize it. Looking within for the issue is the last thing on our list because in our minds it must be someone else to cause our mess.

Sometimes I need saving from myself its ok to admit.

-
Alexis Pettway

Appeasing Yourself

When people say “you’ve missed out on a good thing”, they are usually referring to a superficial layer of qualities. It will also come out as “I got my shit together.” It’s a false idea of someone having a few things going their way, mostly of the physical. This may come about as someone that has their own car, apartment/house and pays their own bills. In essence, it seems like they have everything going for themselves. This only speaks on surface of their livelihood.  What about on a deeper, internal level? Often, surface level characteristics mask the guarded insecurities that are the root of negative thoughts. After all, the mind is the control mechanism that allows thoughts of satisfaction and accomplishment to manifest. Are you truly satisfied? Until the mind is satisfied those surface level qualities mean nothing.

            Someone that fully has their “shit together” is someone that is considered “whole”, a combination of both physical and mental qualities that satisfy themselves mentally to the point where they are at peace with themselves. This comes with you accepting the good and the bad as part of life. You have to have a great balance of your life’s outcomes, not taking blame or blaming others for things that are out of your control, but taking responsibility for faults of your own and affording meaningful contributions to society.

            The formula to being “whole” is simple, but complex due to dense layers of understanding. Then, transforming your understanding of self  into actions includes continuous efforts towards self-satisfaction on both the physical and mental levels. A conscious effort to understand yourself and reshape your thoughts for the positive equals a “whole” individual. To realize or satisfy your own talents and potential along with grounding your thinking to motivate yourself for the greater good can be seen as self-actualization. Self-actualization can lead you to not let anyone’s outside influence dictate what satisfies your true needs and desires. Knowing your purpose and true potential will detour you from floating down stream like drift wood, “going with the flow”. Thoughts control behaviors; negative thoughts lead to negative behaviors. If you are in tune with your true purpose of self you will be able to deflect negative thoughts that detour you off the path of true satisfaction and achievement.

            A continuous, fine tuning process is required in the journey of finding yourself and becoming whole. A period of being selfish, finding out your true desires and needs is always needed. Equip yourself with the cure of mental freedom by honing in on what is really important and purposeful before masking it with physical qualities that give off empty depictions of “success”.

-    K.A. Payne

U.S Navy Corpsman OEF veteran

Psychology Technician

Indie Author Legacy Awards!

A few years ago, I said to myself I wanted to go to events catered to authors like author conferences and workshops,etc.
Around that time I also started following a woman named Tieshena Davis. She is the owner of Purposely Publishing.

About two years ago I saw that she hosts this annual awards for Authors. I kept seeing pictures from the events and decided I wanted to make one the events.

This year I made it happen and signed up for vending at this year's event in the Baltimore Harbor. I was super excited and couldn't wait to see and meet authors.

Let me tell yall, I don't get out that often but when I got to the event and I knew a few other authors that were there, it definitely warmed my heart to be in Baltimore and to run into fellow authors I've met a various past events. It was amazing! I didn't think i was going to know anyone there besides m friend Damont, who went on to win poet of the year!

Also, I didn't realize that the guest host was none other than Kim Coles, from living single.
Let me say she looks exactly the same and she is super sweet! I really enjoyed meeting her.

The vendor spot I purchased was in a different room from the actual event but I watched most of the awards ceremony. It was amazing to see so many authors gathered and to listen to their award speeches.

it was also awesome to finally meet Tieshena Davis after following her on Facebook for so long.
 She is super passionate about publishing and helping other authors reach their potential.

I will definitely be attending this event next year!I also need to visit Baltimore again to explore more of the harbor!

The Walking Dead

Let me just start off by saying that this post is NOT about the tv show, the "Walking Dead"

This post stemmed from a conversation a friend and I were having a couple of weeks ago.  We were talking about how we see so many people, whether it be family or people we grew up with, who are alive but not living. I blurted out the term, the walking dead.

In the tv show, the walking dead are zombies. They are reanimated corpses due to some virus or bite. The have some physical mobility and crave 

As an entrepreneur, I struggle, I have wins and losses within myself and my business, but at the end of the day, I know I'm working for something I'm passionate about, something that makes me happy, something that will better my future. Something that gives me more out of life.
So when I see people just going through the motions, not pushing or striving for anything it pains me.
It pains me to see people who haven't found their passion or who don't have the ambition, confidence or motivation to pursue their goals, and or dreams; whether it be a certain career, business ownership or health goals.

This happens for a million different reasons, too many to go into details about. I'll just stick to my point.

I used to work at Sikorsky, a company that builds the black hawk helicopters for the U.S. military.
Some of the top executives I would encounter would seem so miserable, bitter and just mean.
I'd always ask myself how could these people seem to be so miserable when their making a lot of money?
Is it the pressure? The stress? Or is it that their current career wasn't what their passion was but it is where the money is.

I heard a successful real estate mogul, Roberta Hoskie, once say " Where your passion is, your prosperity will follow."

I believe that to be true.  I've read countless stories about lawyers, accountants, people making a lot of money, leave these stable and prosperous positions in companies to pursue their passion.

Side note, I feel that when you know your passion and or purpose it eats at you when you're not pursuing it. Your soul isn't at rest when you're not pursuing your passion. I believe it to be an internal check and balance for whatever and whoever we'e meant to be on this earth.

I've even met a woman who was a top executive for Bank of America. She left that position making well over 100k a year. She is now a successful real estate agent and the President of the Rhode Island Black Business Association. She advocated for workers, and entrepreneurs throughout the state of Rhode Island.

Then there are those who we see in every day life, passionless or so it seems. They lack drive, and ambition. They have no desire to explore what they could accomplish or explore their full potential.
Some of these people want to do this and that but never take the first step to do so.

If you're reading this and you know someone who fits into the "walking dead" description, send some encouragement their way.

If you feel you're stuck in life, barely moving and feel you are the walking dead, I want to breathe some life into you by saying make today different, take action, take steps to create the life you want and deserve.
We only have one life, make the best of it. Fill it with happiness, productivity, love and elevation.
Don't continue to let life pass you by, take control.
Don't waste another minute being, the walking dead.

Alexis Pettway
Alexispettway.com